In Memory - a reflection

Tonight we went to my Uncle Jimmy's wake. He passed away on Sunday evening. He was my grandmother's baby brother, 17 years younger than she.

Uncle Jimmy was very sick - he always smoked a pipe and as a result he ended up with throat cancer. About 10 years ago, after he was first diagnosed, he lost part of his tongue and jaw to the disease. His wife became his translator to those who weren't around him enough to understand his garbled speech.

For the past six months or so, he has been in and out of the hospital having trouble breathing. Both he and my Aunt Judy were planning on attending my wedding, although he had a feeding tube and wouldn't be able to eat.

Watching his wife today was so unbelievably hard. Now that I have a person that I intend to spend the rest of my life with, it gives you so much more perspective. As a child, I tended to sympathize with the children of the deceased, because that was the connection that I understood and valued. But now that I have more insight into the other side of the relationship, it is much more poignant.

And as awful as it sounds, I enjoyed seeing everyone today. All of my cousins (really my mother's cousins) are older than I am and when I was younger, I was used to having everyone around. But now that everyone is getting older and having their own families and establishing their own traditions, we don't get together as much. Its especially hard because there are so many of us - my grandmother is one of eleven children! So although I wish it could have been under better circumstances, it was good to see these cousins who I only see at family reunions every other year.

So, rest in peace, Uncle Jimmy - may the angels welcome you home.