Return of the Crazy Dream

Ok, this one is a doozy. Seriously.

I worked at a mall, in a store like Macy's or something. And Tyra Banks was my boss. And we all had to go home early from work because she was in a fashion show later that day, and they were going to start setting up the vestibule of the mall. I told her that I was meeting my husband and his friends there, so I wasn't leaving and she warned me that under no circumstances was I to interrupt her walk, specifically by exiting through the door near the end of the runway.

Oh, also, I was very large and in charge - pregnant!

So Kevin and his friends showed up: Justin, his wife Heather (also pregs) and Derek. They come into the mall and I tell them what Tyra said and then all of the sudden there is a huge candy store on the inside of the department store that we are in. And Heather said we HAD to go there. So we went and started looking around.

Heather and I were grabbing candy off the shelf and the guys were like, 'come on! Lets go!" and then I start to freak out about how we can't go out of Macy's because the doors are locked and we can't leave out the door by the runway because Tyra will fire me. Then Heather hands me a carton of ice cream (vanilla with pretzels in it?!) and we both start eating. So then we have to pee, because that is what pregnant ladies do, and there is no bathroom in the store.

We peek out the windows and see that the lights are flashing and there is loud music playing, so the show has starting. We grab our ice cream and walk outside. The door by the end of the runway is the only one that we can get to, but I keep yelling at them and telling them no. Then some poor, unsuspecting schmuck tries to leave out that same door and Tyra comes flying down the runway and tackles him. So we sneak out while she is distracted.

We drive around the mall to the nearest restaurant. It is VERY fancy and we stand out like a sore thumb. I go to the bathroom first, then Heather and then all the boys decide that they need to go to, so I am left standing alone.

For some reason I am barefoot, so I start putting on my shoes and socks, only they are not the same things that I left the mall in. I have tall soccer socks that are shamrock green, and very high heeled, t-strap shamrock green shoes (ps, they were super cute!!). So as I am putting on my sock, some woman at a table asks what sort of activity I could possibly be doing that would require socks like that. And as if it was an explanation, a woman at another table licks my toe.

So I finish getting my shoes and socks on (so the woman won't lick me anymore) and when everyone comes back, I tell them what happened. And they tell her that we were going dancing. And then Heather breaks out in an Irish jig. And music starts playing. And then the guys join in. And they really know what they are doing! Kevin is doing a jig, and a darn good one at that!

And then I wake up laughing. Oh my heavens, I wish I could show you what I saw when they were dancing. It was too too funny!

And so the moral of the story is: Don't eat popcorn chicken before you go to bed!!

Enjoy it!