Anxiety.

And for once, it isn't my own - it is Kevin's.

Last night I got a text message at 2:29am about how he was feeling funny and couldn't sleep. This has happened before. He starts to feel...not right. His chest gets tight and he feels short of breath. He feels sort of numb, or like he is just floating through his day. This is the same thing that happened on Thanksgiving, which resulted in a trip to the ER.

Kevin is someone who is always healthy (knock on wood). He rarely gets a cold, whereas I am sick left and right with colds, strep throat, the flu, you name it. SO when something feels off, it freaks him out. Kevin is also a worrier - when something like this freaks him out, it carries over for days. Its ok when his mind is busy, at work, playing a video game...but when he tries to sleep, he lays there and thinks about things instead. Which results in more anxiety, tight chest, etc. It is a vicious cycle.

Kevin is now particularly worried since my cousin, 27, had a stroke this summer. When he first went to the ER, he was sent home with a diagnosis of the flu. Luckily, he went back and is doing very very well now. But Kevin, the worrier, thinks "I live alone. What if something were to happen to me and no one would know until the smell of my decomposing body leaked into the hall and the kittens started eating my eyeballs?"

Which stresses me out because 1 - Kevin is a large man, and not a very healthy eater. What if I think he is crying wolf and something is really the matter? 2 - I don't know why he thinks that if he didn't answer my phone calls for a day (let alone long enough that the kittens would eat his eyeballs) wouldn't send up a warning signal and 3 - I don't want him to have to be anxious about things and I think the things weighing on his mind right now are the wedding and how we'll be making ends meet after I relocate.

I don't know what to do to help him. I don't want him to be feeling crappy and anxious for the next 17 days, but I also don't think he is the kind of person who will want to talk to someone/seek options for treating or controlling anxiety. I feel like we are going around in circles. The funny thing is, it seems to be that he gets upset when I am telling him about all the things that I've gotten done for the wedding.

I guess I'll have to wait and see how he is feeling this morning...