Ok, I'm back

So I've been a huge slacker lately, but cut me a break - I got married, went on a honeymoon, moved to a new city, and started a new job (that does not require me to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours a day). Lame, I know, but its the truth.

So, as a quick update of all wedding related happenings.

Thursday night my girlfriends and I went out and had a blasty-mcblasterson. We hit up the Chocolate Bar for some delish (if a little 'spensive) martinis and desserts. Of course, someone ordered the obligatory phallic one (you know, banana in the middle, two shot glasses on the sides, topped with whipped cream....oh man). Then we went across the street to another club (where we snuck in my underage sister by merely saying "She forgot her id"...they don't stop bachelorette parties!). Last stop of the evening was Marcella's for the drag show - ah!mazing!!!

Friday night we had rehearsal, which went smoothly and then the dinner which went not so smoothly, when I had to miss out on the first hour of it when my friend's lame bf didn't get gas so they ran out on the 3 mile drive over there. And instead of calling AAA, called me and basically put it on me to handle it. All in all, I was a bit sleep-deprived and nerved up, and a whole lot crankier than I should have been. We both handled it a little wrong and it was fixed later that night. Rawr - bridezilla rears her ugly head!!

My friends came over and we hung out and did nails and primped, and we went to bed pretty early - you know, big day the next morning!

I got up around 7:30 and jumped in the shower, put on my Mrs. Newlastname hoodie and just hung out. Friends got there an hour later (with food!!) and the first group went off to the salon to get their hairs did at 9. Next, final two bridesmaids and I headed out there, and the others came home to have their make up done by my very talented friend Meg. My mom was basically running around like a chicken with her head cut off, dropping off flowers to the church and picking up my dress from where we had been storing it. She also decided that my veil had gotten a little crinkled and tried to re-iron it, but forgot she had turned up the temp and ironed a hole in it. And started to cry. Which I felt horrible about, because it really was no big deal - it was NOT an expensive veil, we got it from JoAnn Fabrics for about $14, it was two layers and the hole was on the bottom and you couldn't even see it. If it was really *that* bad, we could have gotten a new one. But no one saw, no one said anything and it was just fine. Mini-crisis averted.

By noon, I was all dolled up and my mom and friends were helping me to get dressed for the photog who was coming at 12:30. He was a bit early and all the girls ran up to get dressed too (I was stuck in the living room and was completely forbidden from moving or sitting). They girls came down (and looked beautiful!! its unfair how amazing they looked!) and the photog started snapping away. The limo came and picked us up, and my mom rode over with us - her first ride in a limo.

Then came the tough part - waiting! I was very calm all morning. Quite frankly, I was impressed with myself - I am a HUGE micromanager and I kept it cool and relaxed the whole day. But when we showed up and people were walking in, I just wanted to get out there and visit instead of waiting to be seen. My two little cousins stopped on the limo to say hi, and check it out. Oh and my friend Kara (the smallest girl in the party turned out to be the enforcer!) snagged my two cousins, Ryan and Brendan, and roped them into being my "door-openers" for my grand entrance. The conversation went a little something like this:

Kara: Ryan! RYAN! Can you and Brendan open the doors for Meagan when she walks down the aisle?
Ryan: Do I want to do this?
Kara: No no no, let me repeat myself, because perhaps I wasn't clear. You HAVE to open the doors for Meagan when she walks down the aisle.

When I finally walked into the back vestibule, I was a bundle of nerves. My friend's mother was standing back there, just waiting to watch me and I teared up a little bit. But I kept myself composed because 1 - if I started crying, I didn't know if I would stop 2 - I loved my make up and I didn't want to ruin it and 3 - I am NOT a pretty cry-er and I didn't want to mess up pictures.

When the music changed (to Elvis Presley's "Can't Help Falling in Love" which was PERFECT), my cousins opened the doors and we walked down. At first, I couldn't see Kevin, he was sort of hiding behind people, but then there he was. And he was a crying mess. So see? One of us had to hold it together! Then the music stopped, and we were on the altar.

The ceremony went so quickly. A couple of "I do"s and suddenly we are married. It was a little anticlimatic for me, because we didn't actually say our vows. But everything was so beautiful. Then we walked out, did a little victory dance and lined up for the receiving line. I couldn't believe how packed the church was - there were SO many people! It was great to see everyone, and I was so happy, I was hugging and kissing everyone! Then we lined up for pictures inside the church.

After that, we headed out to a local art gallery - they have this huge set of stairs and columns, and no matter what time of year, it is always pretty there. We got some great shots and then it started to snow, just very softly. Kevin and I got some together with the snow and we were off. The limo driver was apparently unfamiliar with the area and took us the most long, convoluted way back but it was fine. We got to our inside photo destination - a funeral home. I know, it sounds weird. But they have this great spiral staircase and the pictures turned out awesome.

At this point, I'm fed up with the limo driver - I gave them addresses, and he was NOT using them, just plugging in general ideas in his GPS. We were only about 1 mile from our banquet hall. He actually would have only needed to make 2 turns, less than 5 minutes. Instead of listening to what we were saying, he took us 10 minutes out of the way and got all turned around. So I was pretty angry about that. But I guess if the driver was my only problem (and I knew that getting into it, because as soon as I booked them I started hearing bad things about that company) then I guess I am pretty well off.

The reception was gorgeous - I had to pee when I got there which was a HUGE production. But then I got out there and was able to visit and get some munchies. We got introduced - which was a HUGE rush - and then cut the cake. Dinner was served, my dad said a quick blessing and the toasts were given. The Best Man did a nice job, but my sister totally showed him up. She did hers completely off the cuff, talked for about 1 minute and had the whole room in tears. I was so proud of her. Dinner was amazing and then we got out there to visit tables. I only made it to about 8 (we had 24) before the dj told us it was time for the first dance. I found Kevin and we headed out on the floor. It was so sweet - he sang the words to our song and I was melting. I danced with my dad, also a master of surpressing emotions (just like me!) so he just kept saying "Nice song!" haha. Kevin and his mother danced, and she cried of course. She was blubbering the whole day.

After that, I danced and danced and danced. They played my Elvis song and Kevin came right out and found me to dance. He also did the hokey pokey. Then he pretty much retired from dancing. But I was like a machine. I had my flats on and I was ready to go. Then, all of the sudden it was time to go and we were dancing the last dance. I had such an awesome time!! But man was I pooped!

We went back to my house and dropped off my dress and Kevin's tux. Grabbed our bags and headed out to the hotel. We had to leave super early the next morning, our flight was scheduled for a 5:50am departure, so by the time we got to bed at 1:30am, we basically took a nap. Out legs were SO tired, it was hard to get up and go, but we made it into JFK with time to spare and got right on to Antigua.....

Tying up loose ends...

Today is the last day at my big kid job. After this I have a week off to prep and finish all my little projects, get primped and pampered and beautified, and then that is it - the wedding day and off to a lovely week in Antigua.

The girl I have been training has been out sick for the last three days, so today I am trying to get everything together for her and make sure I leave her some good notes.

It is SO nice knowing that I don't have to drive downtown anymore. I love to think about how I don't have to plan my weekends out months in advance according to what is going on with the wedding, when I am working and when I can see Kevin - I can see him everyday!

But I am really going to miss my friends here. The ladies at the office have basically planned the whole wedding with me, and I have loved their insights and advice. I just hope I am lucky enough to meet new friends at the new place.

I still can't even wrap my head around the fact that the wedding is in 8 days. EIGHT. A week plus one.

ENJOY IT!

Sniffles and watery eyes

So I called in to work on Friday. I slept in for an extra 3 hours. I laid in bed for two more. I made myself some breakfast, went to AAA and picked up our honeymoon tickets, stopped at Borders to pick up some things and grabbed dinner with my grandparents. I worked at the grocery store and passed out in bed.

Saturday, I carried a box of tissues around with me like a safety blanket. My mom and I went out to the dress shop to pick out her dress, finally. We have a WINNER! I love love love it - it is a beautiful navy blue color and she looks great - what a relief! Now it just needs to be altered. Then I took off to Rochester, and when I got to the apartment, I took a nap for more than an hour. Kevin and I went out for some lunch - Red Robin, yummmmm! Then ran a few errands and by the time we were done, I was EXHAUSTED! It was only 6:30 pm, but I put on my pjs and snuggled up in bed. Which is also where I spent the majority of Sunday. By dinner time on Sunday, I had finished a whole box of tissues, and a whole pint of lowfat Half-Baked B&Js fro-yo (its not really low fat anymore when you eat the whole container, is it?). And I was wiped. So I stayed the night again and just got up early with Kevin this morning to head back to B-lo. Kevin had to be at work at 6am today, so he woke me up before he went in. It was a rough ride in and I was having a hard time staying awake, but I think I will make it through the day. I am feeling a little bit better, and I haven't fallen asleep at my desk yet, so I am rejoicing in the small victories.

My friend Ann is taking me out to lunch today and I am excited to get the heck out of here for a little while. It will be nice to take a break. Also, pretty much everyone in my office is sick, and even my big boss called in today, so I don't really feel so bad about being a wimp on Friday and not just toughing it out. Normally I would just try and work through it, but with the wedding so close, I need to get better and that won't happen if I never get to rest.

Enjoy it!!

Nightmare

OMG i just woke up from the worst dream ever and I am just typing it out right now before I forget all the horrible things that went wrong. First of all, we have this really lovely banquet hall, and when I walk in, it just has 4 long tables that stretch the entire length of the room. My dress has patches on it like it is some girl scout sash. My bridesmaids never went to get their dresses altered and are being held together by straight pins, and my friend Kara's skirt keeps falling down. They are not even in the right color, but someone is also randomly wearing a brown top. We are about to do introductions, but only the girls are in the back and people are leaving already. Kevin is still sitting at a table with his buddies, drinking, so I peek out to see what is going on and there are only about 50 people left (we invited 250). Someone handed me a bottle of dark rum, and it spilled all over the front of my dress. So I go to the bathroom to try and clean it up - which looks remarkably like the bathrooms in a grammar school - and the more I try to clean it up, I get up that little spot, but make a bigger mess of it. Then suddenly I realize - THIS IS NOT EVEN MY DRESS!!! It has this ugly burnt orange/brown/poop colored trim on it. And just as I sit down on the bathroom floor and started to cry, I woke up.

Anxiety.

And for once, it isn't my own - it is Kevin's.

Last night I got a text message at 2:29am about how he was feeling funny and couldn't sleep. This has happened before. He starts to feel...not right. His chest gets tight and he feels short of breath. He feels sort of numb, or like he is just floating through his day. This is the same thing that happened on Thanksgiving, which resulted in a trip to the ER.

Kevin is someone who is always healthy (knock on wood). He rarely gets a cold, whereas I am sick left and right with colds, strep throat, the flu, you name it. SO when something feels off, it freaks him out. Kevin is also a worrier - when something like this freaks him out, it carries over for days. Its ok when his mind is busy, at work, playing a video game...but when he tries to sleep, he lays there and thinks about things instead. Which results in more anxiety, tight chest, etc. It is a vicious cycle.

Kevin is now particularly worried since my cousin, 27, had a stroke this summer. When he first went to the ER, he was sent home with a diagnosis of the flu. Luckily, he went back and is doing very very well now. But Kevin, the worrier, thinks "I live alone. What if something were to happen to me and no one would know until the smell of my decomposing body leaked into the hall and the kittens started eating my eyeballs?"

Which stresses me out because 1 - Kevin is a large man, and not a very healthy eater. What if I think he is crying wolf and something is really the matter? 2 - I don't know why he thinks that if he didn't answer my phone calls for a day (let alone long enough that the kittens would eat his eyeballs) wouldn't send up a warning signal and 3 - I don't want him to have to be anxious about things and I think the things weighing on his mind right now are the wedding and how we'll be making ends meet after I relocate.

I don't know what to do to help him. I don't want him to be feeling crappy and anxious for the next 17 days, but I also don't think he is the kind of person who will want to talk to someone/seek options for treating or controlling anxiety. I feel like we are going around in circles. The funny thing is, it seems to be that he gets upset when I am telling him about all the things that I've gotten done for the wedding.

I guess I'll have to wait and see how he is feeling this morning...

Why, hello there Vivienne!

Here is Vivienne's new favorite place to lounge:

Kevin has been trying to sneak up and get a picture of her in the bathroom sink for a week, but she keeps running away before he gets there. Finally, he emailed me these yesterday. Haha, silly kitty!

You win some, you lose some

So this weekend was interesting - I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more, filled a couple of boxes to send with Kevin to the apartment and filled up garbage bags and a recycling bin full of junk. My mom, her friend Mrs. Q and I worked on favors. I went to the baby shower for Heather, the Best Man Justin's wife. I didn't know anyone there and Kevin's ex ended up sitting next to me, but she was fine, friendly even, so I guess that worked out ok.

I had a FANTASTIC Monday morning - I was in an amazing mood because Kevin came to pick me up at work and we went to get our marriage license. Any excuse to see Kevin is a good one. But this was SO exciting. Of course Kevin was all, "*grumble grumble* don't know why there aren't lines on the roads *grumble mumble* signs to mark the one-way streets *grumble*"...he doesn't enjoy driving downtown haha.

Here we are, marriage license in hand...

After work, I headed out to the dress shop to pick up my dress - so exciting. And then my day his a low point. I slipped on some ice in the parking lot and fell. I skinned my knee and bruised up my hands. Big old dummy. After I washed my hands and bandaged my knee (thankfully I didn't rip my new pants!), I headed in to try on the dress for the last time before the wedding. My dress has a chiffon overlay on it, and its longer than the actual dress. And to me, it looked like the hem on one side was higher than the other, and there was what looked like two little snags on the front of the chiffon and I didn't love the whole bustle, but its just a litle too late now. Plus, right now we were really scrutinizing it, which no one will be doing the day of, and they weren't things you would see in pictures.

The dress is living at my great aunt's right now, so that it won't get ruined here... I just realized that I paid for a crinoline but I don't know if I took it home (wrapped with the dress) or not....I will have to check with my mom, since she had the dress in her car.

I worked till midnight tonight. Work at 7:30 tomorrow morning, then a meeting with the music director at church tomorrow at 4:30. Then hopefully finishing cleaning and maybe doing some nothing, because I'm hitting a rough patch.

Enjoy it!!