Sweet Hayden

This Sunday I was able to go to my home town to visit with some family who flew in from out of town - my cousin Lesley and her two kids, Harrison (4) and Hayden (2). They haven't been up to visit since Christmas, so it has been a while since we've had the opportunity to catch up and see how big the kids have grown.

Hayden is my goddaughter, and I often send her things - usually just a book and a little treat for whatever holiday is coming up - but she is at the age where she can start to associate those things with me, so Lesley has been showing her pictures of me and whenever I send something she tells her "Those are from Meagan" and Hayden walks around saying "From my Meagan" for a couple days, so I was definitely excited to see her.

She, on the other hand, was not so excited to see me. She is just not used to having such a large group around her so she was pretty leery at my grandmother's, even though she had done fine a few days earlier with just my grandmother there. Oh well. I brought presents to win her love - hey! Don't make that face at me. She is two and I only see her twice a year, I've got to do something...

I brought her a pretty dress and a Cinderella crown and wand and best of all, some bright pink nail polish for her toes. So after dinner she let me paint her toes and then she, Lesley and I went for a walk to the park around the corner. When we were there, we were telling her about the baby growing in my tummy and how next time she visited, the baby would be out and she could help me take care of it. She really liked that because she likes to help with the real babies at day care and lines up all her babies at home to feed them and rock them.

Best of all, she touched my tummy and sang the baby a song - "You are my sunshine." SO sweet! All in all, it was such a nice visit and I am looking forward to their visit at Christmastime with little no-name in my belly.

Enjoy it!

Yay for ultrasounds!

Some of these pictures are a bit creepy, but gosh I love the little foot <3

Looking right at the face

Profile of the little wiggle worm - all it did the whole time was move and move.

Here it is, arching its neck back

Zombie baby!

This one is tougher to see - that little white triangle is

the nose (see the nostrils?) and upper lip

Wee little legs

Half-way there

Today marks the day that we are half-way to the finish line – 20 weeks pregnant, 20 weeks to go! We’ve still got a LOT of preparing to do – pick out furniture, find a day care, move to a new place… But we also have a lot of things to look forward to – I am starting to feel the baby move more, soon Kevin will be able to feel it, we have an ultrasound next Wednesday and this time the baby will look like a baby rather than a kidney bean (at 6w1d). I am hoping that I will soon look pregnant, rather than like I’ve been hitting the donuts. The few maternity clothes I’ve got help the appearance of the bump for sure. I’m debating whether I should buy another BellyBand or finally cave and get a pair of maternity pants.

Here’s to another 20 weeks of a growing belly and new experiences!

Enjoy it!

Worry Wart

Way back a couple months ago, before I was pregnant, I used to worry that we would never have kids or that I would never be able to get pregnant, because of problems I was having with regulating my period. Drama queen, much?

I guess I have always been a worrier, but I am just starting to get a taste of worrying about a child. We've visited Babies R Us on several occasions, mostly because I just like to get some ideas and it sort of makes it seem more real. But, inevitably I end up leaving feeling overwhelmed and vastly unprepared. There are so many choices of everything, from carseats and cribs to breast pumps, bottles and pacifiers.

On top of that, we plan to wait until the baby is born to find out if it is a boy or a girl, which is getting me really frustrated with my decorating choices. I've already decided that I don't want to get a whole bedding set because a lot of the stuff in there (bumper, comforter) is considered a SIDS risk and shouldn't be used until they are older anyway. But I am desperately seeking solid colors and every time I find something I like, it has a little design on it. You can't choose anything girly, because it is SO girly, and everything that could be neutral has frogs or giraffes all over it because those are animals that come in green and yellow.

So here I am, up in the air about where we will be living, unable to decide about ANYTHING we need to register for, and worrying about how on earth I will be able to take care of this tiny little person when I can't even pick out a pacifier...

And I know - this is just the beginning!

A Lovely Afternoon

This Wednesday, I had the day off and drove up to Buffalo to visit my lovely goddaughter who is here visiting from Florida. I haven't seen her since my wedding in February, so I was very glad for the opportunity to see her. 

Obviously I had to bring some presents with me. 

Dress

Shirt and leggings

Bunny from Build-a-Bear

Here she is, all dressed up in her pretties. She loooves those sunglasses and bows!

My mother

Here's my grandma (and Hayden's great-grandma)

Playing

She's a sun baby

"Banging things is fun!"

Steppin' on the doggy

Hmm, this is not a pony

Snuggling

Big smiles

Peek-a-boo!

Aww there's my big girl!

All in all, I had a great time with my family and especially seeing how big Hayden has got since February. She is 14 months now, so she is a big girl!

Enjoy it!!

There are babies in the water...

I started a new job within my company back in May. Since I have started here, 7 people have had babies. 7 months, 7 babies. I'm totally, 100% serious.

On Wednesday, one of the new moms stopped by with her little guy, 10 week old Sean. He was such a snuggle bug. I was holding him and there was not one peep. And the "Grandma Brigade" (as the grandmas in our office named themselves) kept coming over and commenting on "what a natural" I was with a baby.

I mentioned this to Kevin and he said "I hope you aren't drinking the water at that place. Don't be getting any ideas."

Later that night, I had a dream we had a baby. And it always surprises me how real it seems, and how somehow I miss this someone in my dreams who was never real at all.

I know I shouldn't have held the baby. We don't have any babies that are close in my family (we're in NY and my goddaughter, Hayden, is in Florida) so I don't get to hold and snuggle and love on babies often anymore. I think if we did, then I wouldn't want one so badly when I actually do get to hold one.

I know I don't want a baby right now. If I could, I would just borrow someone else's and get my fill. I have always loved having little ones around, and now that everyone is getting so big, I really miss it. But it's tough getting back into that mindset after the little love session I had the other day.

I can't wait to get up to the apartment tomorrow and get to enjoy my kitties...they're my babies for now. Someday, a real baby, but not yet.

*SIDE NOTE* Please keep Baby Max and his family in your prayers. Max is a T18 baby and his family will be meeting him today.

Not yet!

Tonight I am resisting temptation. My friend Colleen is coming home to visit her brand new baby cousin and I am NOT going with her. Even though I desperately want to. Even though I would love to see him, and snuggle and hold him.

I am not going because if I do, it will be a serious kick in the ovaries. And it is just easier to avoid it, rather than go enjoy myself.

On one hand, I am thinking I am so ready to have a baby, to have this little life that relies totally and completely on you. It's unnerving how much I enjoy being around the little bebes in my life.

But on the other hand, I know that I will have a lot of transitioning to do once the wedding is done, with the relocating, starting a new job and just living with a boy in general. And on top of that, Kevin and I have spent our entire relationship apart. I really just want to enjoy our time together and be free to take off and do things at the drop of a hat.

And still, that little nagging is there.

So to that little voice, I say, "Be patient, we'll get there! Just enjoy what you have now."

....and maybe get a fur baby soon, instead.



Enjoy it!!

We're having a girl!

Well, not "us" persay. But Kevin's best friend (and best man) and his wife (who happens to be due 3 days after our wedding) - they had an ultrasound on Saturday morning and saw her...yay for new bebes!

We are especially excited for them because H was pregnant last year (and would have been due in early May, with twin boys). She lost the boys at five and a half months, big enough where she had to give birth, and had a funeral service. Not that the new baby can take their place, but this is something they have been trying for.

[My personal opinion on them having a baby right now is not quite so rosy. When H was pregnant with the boys, she would have had them and turned 21 a month later. She got married shortly after she turned 19, so I don't really understand their rush to have children, especially when they will tell you they have a hard time paying their bills. And when she has a year and a half left of college and goes on "sabbatical" when we all know she won't go back. Just think it's a little young, that is all.]

ALSO, we got a call from the Alfred Angelo store this weekend, and all the bridemaid dresses that were ordered are in. So on Thursday, when we drive up for the sixth and final bridesmaid to order her dress, I will pick up the other five. I'm pumped about it. And it was less than two months for it to come it. Hopefully Tyler, the hold-out bridesmaid, won't take too long for hers to come in either. Can't wait to see them all together!

Weekend recap:

FRIDAY- took the day off from work and the night off from Wegmans. It was glorious. I cleaned during the day mostly (not very well tho) and went out that evening


SATURDAY - breakfast and outlets with my cousin Tyler and her friend Shannon. I don't really like the outlets that much, mostly because I feel like clothes don't fit me well now and I don't like the shopping. But I did end up with a blue Nine West wallet that was originally $39 for $10 - yay! And they have a Corelle outlet there so I went in to look for my everyday dishes. My mother was planning to buy them for me as a shower gift, but I had found them online @ Target, and shipping was as much as a set of dishes. So I said I would look for them - they had them, and even cheaper than online! I was glad I saw them in person, because I didn't end up liking the ones from online. But I got these, to the right. It's their pattern called "Secret Garden." Of course, I was in the store for approx 1 hour trying to choose...I like the square dishes (but they are more expensive and also the bowls are kind of funny) and I like the modern pattern dishes (but I worry that five years from now they will just look dated and out of style) so I went for a more classic kind of look.

Saturday was also excellent because I got to see KEVIN! For the first time in 3 weeks! I've missed him. I know we talk a lot, but it is so crappy being away all the time. We have never lived in the same city, so I think just knowing that I can see him everyday will be my favorite thing when we get married. We went out to a late lunch together and to Tuxedo Junction to pick out the colors for Kevin and our groomsmen. Then we were just hanging out at my house when Kevin's friend J called. They were headed up to our area for dinner and wanted to know if we wanted to come. We said we ate but would meet them for dessert, or a few beers. So they agreed. About 2 hours later they called for directions from the exit, but added that D, one of the guys, had gotten sick on the car ride. So they came over, we gave them some cleaner and febreeze, ordered a pizza, picked up some beer and just hung out at my house. It was really nice and relaxed. Also, they told us the baby's name....Autumn. Not my favorite (I'm not into the seasons, or months, or days of the week) but its not my kid. If you want to name you baby (born in the winter) after the fall, go ahead...whatever blows your dress up. Kevin was drinking so I was supposed to drive him to his brother's but he ended up just staying at my house in my sister's bed.

SUNDAY - It was my grandfather's 89th birthday, so we had our usual big turkey dinner - his favorite. Then we hung out and ordered ice cream from our favorite place - it was their last Sunday. I always make the list and pick it up...this week we had 13 different things! Had to go out with a bang, right? After that, we had to head to my house because I had to work last night. Kevin started loading the rest of the shower things into his car but his trunk was a mess. Kevin used to work at a pasta factory and got free pasta, which he kept back there. Well at least 2 boxes busted open because I spent 45 minutes shopvac-ing elbows, linguine and penne before he could load up. He left and I was off to work till 11:30, yahoo!

And here we are, Monday morning. Back to the old grind....

Enjoy it!!

Weekend Wrap-up

Once again, it was a busy busy weekend!

Friday - I took off from Wegmans so I was free to hang out with my family. I got a fish fry with my grandparents and great-uncle. Then we went back to my grandparents house to wait for the PA aunt and cousin to get in so we could go see the FL cousin and babies! They were taking forever and we didn't want her to be in for the night by the time we got there, so we left and of course saw them coming down the street as we drove away. We went over to my other aunt's to see her daughter and 2 children, including my god-daughter Hayden. She is such a sweetie, and so pretty! Beautiful blue eyes and *sparse* dark hair. I let my sister hold her first since she could only stay a short time. Then it was my turn and she cried - hungry girl. But I held her later and she was good. And I was glad to see my cousin Amanda (from Philly).

After we left the family I traced the outline of my friend's monogram onto the aisle runner for her so I would be ready for Sunday when I planned to paint.

**On a somber note, we found out that my former boss's dad passed away on Thursday, so I had to add in plans to attend a wake for the weekend. We were close and joked with each other, so I felt like I should go.**

Saturday - I got up early because I had some errands to run. I went to the mall to pick something up for Hayden as a christening gift - I had a duplicate of a Willow Tree figurine which I couldn't return, but I exchanged it for a Precious Moments frame with a little baby on it and planned to put a pic in it from the day. Ran to Macy's and picked up some adorable baby outfits for my girl, on sale! Also a barette for the wedding - stupid hair.

Came home and freshened up, plugged in the address to the GPS and headed out to ATTICA. Made good time and arrived early. Kevin looked so handsome in his tux, and the groom was a nervous wreck!! Once we could process into the wedding, I met up with Kevin's friend who wasn't in the wedding and sat with him and his parents (Kevin's parents weren't there yet). The wedding ceremony was short and sweet, Sara laughed through Derek's vows, I think to keep him from crying. The preacher was not amazing - stumbled over his words and kept ranting about Derek being the head of the house and Sara's job is to support and obey him. After the wedding Kevin asked, "Our wedding isn't going to be like that, right?" haha

They had a reception line leaving the church and it went relatively quickly, but the bridal party was also in the line, and hence I was confronted with Kevin's EX. No words. But she knew. I let all the girls put their things in my car to get them to the reception, even her. And then later in the evening, one of the other bridesmaids, Heather (the wife of the best man in our wedding) was like "Oh thanks for letting J put her things in your car" and I was just like "Well I wouldn't have said 'Everyone can put their things in my car except you!'" haha. Oh well

The food was decent, considering the reception was at a fire hall. They had a pretty cake and a candy buffet. I hung out with Kevin's family and my adoptive inlaws (Kevin's friend Mike's parents) while we waited for the BP to show up. After dinner, Heather fell and broke her ankle - it was not good. She is 3 mos pregnant, so they couldn't do an xray or give her any pain meds so she is uncomfortable. Poor thing. They have the worst luck.

Kevin and I left the wedding early (around 8pm) and just went back to his parents house and got in some serious "us" time. We haven't gotten to snuggle in a LONG time and sleep in the same bed in even longer. It was very nice

Sunday - We went to breakfast with Kevin's brother Randy. Then I washed my hair, got dressed and headed out to the church for Hayden's christening. I wished that Kevin could have come with me and seen the baby, but he had to work again. I sat through the mass and then helped Lesley get Hayden dressed. She was so good the whole time, no crying or fussing, even when they poured the water on her head. Such a good little girl!

Listening to the priest

Here's the water!

Hayden, her godfather Joey and I at the baptism

Us with the priest (notice the beautiful christening gown - my great grandmother made it and everyone since my grandmother has been baptised in it). This is the priest who will be doing our wedding as well.

This is everyone who was at the christening - at the church where I am getting married.

When we left the ceremony, I ran to Wegmans to print a couple of pictures and grab a card. I put one of the pictures in the frame and then headed to my grandma's for dinner. I had a good time visiting and after dinner, I was holding her and she fell asleep and was such a little angel. I have so many good pictures!

Excuse how I look like I haven't slept in a week, but this is me and my lil peanut

After I left there, I stopped at Joann's and got some paint and brushes for the aisle runner. Then I fluffed up my hair and went to the wake with Kelly. We met Joyce and then I had to take over for Kelly because she was getting shaky and couldn't drive. Since we left that office, she stayed in touch with Frank and they were sort of 'talking' and making out haha. So she knew that his dad was sick and also that he was NOT expecting him to die, but to make a full recovery. Also, her father died when we were seniors in high school, and so she (better than any of us) really understood what he was feeling and going through. But he seemed to be doing ok at that point - of course, its so busy and business like. Its really when you're left alone and have to really think about it that it gets tough (or so Kelly says). So hopefully he will have a strong support around him. And not push people away, like he seems to do so often.

When I got home, I started working on the aisle runner. It actually turned out pretty good, but I did accidentally get one rouge blue spot on it, so I have to consult with Steph as to how to proceed. We'll see how it goes. It definitely didn't take as long as I expected. The aisle runner is like painting on a mix of paper towel and dryer sheet haha. Hope she likes how it turned out!

Enjoy it!

Family & Friends Weekend

My goddaughter Hayden arrived last night and I can't wait to see her today...stupid work! Also, my lovely cousin Amanda will be here today. I love when the out-of-town family come to visit, it is so nice to have everyone in the same place.

Wednesday I got my STD magnets in the mail and they came out great!! I love them. In fact, I was so excited I stuck all 200 of them all over the fridge.

They are blurry but they say "Kevin bought the ring and Meagan said yes. There's going to be a wedding and we hope you'll be our guest!"

My family got a big kick out of that, but seriously, they are so stinkin' cute! Now if I could just get them out....maybe next week? I am soooo busy with Steph's wedding and things I don't know if that will happen. The little cards I made to put the magnets on are uber-boring and I want to dress them up a little, but I'd rather just get them out sooner, so we shall see. Also, I got the new address cards I made up, and it says "Kevin and Meagan Newlastname" and I was just like...whoa, I'm getting married.

Still not really looking forward to the wedding this weekend. I just always feel like an outsider with Kevin's friends. I know they have all been friends for a long time and I'm the new girl but still... At first I thought we were ok, but now I feel like I'm not so sure.

Last night was seriously an awful night. I was just so down about everything - I have a lot of big expenses this month and it is really draining my bank account, which makes me worried. I just get in these moods where I feel like I am always going to be making just what I need to get by and never be able to do nice things and afford to take vacations and it bums me out. Kevin tries to make me feel better, saying he worked a lot of OT and he can pay for things, but I don't want to take his $$. I want to be able to support myself. I want to be able to save, so we can do things. Ugh, stress. And the headache is back and stronger than ever.

The landlady is driving me CRAZY already. She has been going back and forth, pretty much with herself, about the paint and the cupboards and ugh! We picked out a pretty green called Herbal Garden as she said we could choose a color for the kitchen. I told her the name and the number so she could check it out at Home Depot and also said I would send her the sample I got. She said she checked it out and it was very pretty blah blah. Then two days later she tells me it will really brighten up the kitchen. The VERY NEXT day I get an email that the paint will make the kitchen look small and its dark and if we want it that color we would have to prime it back before we leave and she thought it was the lighter one on such and such a chart. I sent you the name and number!! Where was the confusion??? Crazy lady!!! And the cupboards are UGLY and she mentioned something about painting them white instead of varnishing them and I wanted them to do that. She said it would be extra work because they would have to be stripped and sanded, so if that is what we wanted, Kevin could do it on his own. I have told her approx 10 times that he would do it and still she says every email "Does Kevin want to paint?" AHHH I am pulling my hair out!

Well, anyhow, I am going to have a good weekend. Babies, visiting with cousins and snuggling with my bunny after the wedding. *sigh* it will be nice.

Enjoy it!

Aww I'm a God-momma

I've been working like a fiend this week, FT 40 hours at the regular job and 20.5 hours at Wegmans. Cra-zay! Seriously, I am so wiped and counting the minutes until I can be done with this week. Last night was a complete mess at Wegmans - the regular overnight lady is on vacation in CA and the guy who was supposed to be working didn't show up - in fact, when we called him, he told us he was an hour and a half away. Yahoo! Thanks a lot, since I was the ONLY cashier after 10pm. I got slammed! And then they even asked me "Have you ever worked an overnight? Could you stay?" and I just barely held myself back from laughing in the girl's face. Yes, I've only been working since 7:30 am, but let me stay here all night long and then go to my other job at 7:30 am again. Yahoo!

...crazy people...

Today Kevin got some bad news - apparently he has to work next weekend, which is particularly bad as he is IN he friend's wedding. He finishes work at 2:30 pm, would have to drive about an hour and be in the wedding, party, and be back at work by 2pm on Sunday. Hopefully he can work something out with the managers because he is sort of important here... Plus, if he isn't going to the wedding, I don't know that I really want to go either. His friends are a little iffy on me and that is not super fun. Oh well...

Today I got some super-exciting news!! My cousin Lesley, who just had a baby over Memorial Day weekend (little girl - Hayden Carlisle...don't ask) called and asked me to be her godmother! I am very excited and completely flattered that Lesley thought of me. Of course, she lives in Florida, so I still haven't seen the baby, but they will be coming in next Thursday so we can all meet her and also for the baptism (Sunday, the day after the wedding with the conflict). So now I have to think of a gift to get her...I am thinking about doing a bond, and I want something baptism-keepsake (maybe a Precious Moments figurine?) and a cute outfit. I think that should be good.

In addition to the Florida relatives coming up next weekend, one of my very dear cousins Amanda will be in town for the christening as well, from Philadelphia. We have seen her a lot more this year than we usually do (Easter, her brother's wedding, and 4th of July - not the best circumstances as it was a funeral) but at all these things we hardly get to say two words to each other. So hopefully we can spend some time together Friday and Sunday. We have a lot to catch up on!

Yesterday I got the first part of my orders from VistaPrint - address labels to use on our weddig invitations and RSVPs. They came out super cute and I am very excited! Also, Joann's finally has "print your own" invitations that have pockets, which I am also very happy about. They are all white so I am going to incorporate some color by adding a hunter green belly band. This will also eliminate the need for inner envelopes, because I am going to put a little cardstock square on the front and put the "joe and guest" on there. Yay for creativity!

Ooh, also my aunt has a friend who is selling her house and downsizing so I asked her to ley me know if she would be interested in selling some of her furniture (as Kevin and I have none). SO I heard back from my aunt that she will be selling her furniture, so hopefully I will be able to go and check it out on Saturday. My aunt's like "Oh, it will definitely be in good condition, but I don't know what its like so I don't know if it will be your taste" to which I replied, "if the price is right, it's my taste." We can't really afford to be picky at this point and as they say, "Beggars can't be choosers."

Other plans for this weekend include: going to the fair, making a bachelorette party sash for Steph, getting her a cute gift, working on my STDs (getting the envelopes all together) and potentially getting rid of junk in my room.

Enjoy it!