Welcome to the world, little girl!!

On Tuesday October 26, I got up and went to work just like usual. Kevin texted me that he was having a tough day that day and so I went home on my lunch break and made some soup for us and when I came home from work for the evening, I made us dinner, even though I was supposed to be resting due to slightly elevated blood pressure (and ridiculously swollen tree trunk-like legs and feet).

After dinner we just hung out together and ended up watching Saturday Night Live that I had DVRed. Emma Stone was hosting and there were some really funny skits - during Weekend Update I ended up laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my face. While we were watching, I was bouncing on my exercise ball, which had been a blessing.

We went up to bed by 9:30 and settled in for the night. Around 11:45, I got up for my first trip to the bathroom. As I tried to climb back into bed, I felt another gush of fluid. I thought I might have peed my pants, but then decided that was how most women say it starts so I went to the bathroom to assess the situation and decided to grab a towel and head downstairs to see if it continued.

Downstairs, I started watching another show I had DVRed - Glee. When I stood up again, I felt another gush and decided this was the real deal. It was now around 12:30 am. I figured I wouldn't be going into work the next day, so it would be ok for me to stay up late. And because the nurses at birthing class said you should eat something because once you go to the hospital you get nothing, I made myself a bowl of oatmeal.

I went upstairs to let Kevin know that my water broke but nothing was happening yet so he could stay up there and sleep. I figured that he would come downstairs and keep my company (I thought he would be excited and nervous, much like the reaction of dads on tv shows - think Ricky Ricardo) but he rolled over and went back to sleep.

I just hung out on the ball and relaxed, but I couldn't sleep - I was too riled up! I didn't want to call anyone yet, Kevin was sleeping and finally around 2am I was so bored I went back and woke Kevin up. I said "Get up! I am bored and nothing in happening - let's go for a walk." So he got dressed and we walked around the block a few times in the night, just chatting about how things would be and names and things.

We came back in because I had to go to the bathroom and Kevin went back to bed. I took a shower and shaved my legs (I don't know why this is something women care about, but it just seemed like something I've heard women say that they do, so I did it - it is NOT an easy task with a giant belly!). Around 3 am, I got into bed and fell asleep for a bit. A little after 4 am, I woke up because I was uncomfortable and I realized I was beginning to have contractions. I slipped back downstairs and spent some time hunched over my exercise ball. Kevin came down shortly after and offered to make me something to eat, so he made me some scrambled eggs and toast, but I was only able to eat about half of it (and it is not like me to turn away breakfast).

After I had been having contractions for a while, I decided it was time to call my family and let them know. They live about an hour away from us, so I wanted to make sure they would be able to get there, as my mom was planning on coming to the hospital and being with us in the delivery room. I called my mom at 5:30am and said "Good morning, I think we are having a baby today" and explained that my water had broke. So she woke up my dad and little sister and they set off for our house. Kevin called his parents to let them know the situation also - he wasn't supposed to call them until we were already at the hospital but he wanted to make sure they knew and they are difficult to contact once they are at work.

Once my family arrived, we watched my favorite movie - "Meet Me in St. Louis" and just visited. My mom started to write down when I was having contractions so we could keep track of how often they were coming. We played Rummy 500 and my mom kicked both Kevin's and my butt (Kevin insisted we were cheating, but we just have different rules than he normally plays with and it was 2 against 1).

At 11, my mother in law showed up at our house because she decided to call into work and was pacing around the house and decided to come up. Every once in a while, someone (my mother or mother in law) would announce "I think you should call the doctor." I had been putting it off for as long as I could because I didn't want to have to sit all day in the hospital I was going to the bathroom with every contraction and beginning to feel like I would throw up, so I finally caved.

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We waited until a little after 1 pm (the office closes for lunch from 12-1) and Kevin called the doctor and described how things were going. He told them my water broke a little before midnight, I was having contractions but they were not coming at regular times - sometimes it was 4 minutes, then 12, then 7 between contractions. I spoke with the nurse and she told us to come in to the office so I went and changed and off we went.

We arrived at the office around 1:45. As soon as we got into the car, something changed. My contractions got more frequent and I made a comment about this but Kevin replied "Well, YOU said if the ride to the hospital isn't torture then we didn't wait long enough" so I just kept quiet. We checked in at the doctors and I was having contractions every 1 or 2 minutes it seemed like. Finally a nurse came to get me - she had to wait until I was through my contraction until I could get up and follow her. Kevin came back with me. The nurse asked if I could "leave a sample" but I wasn't able to and then I had to wait until a break to get out of the bathroom.

Once I was put in a room, I took my bottoms off and waited for a doctor to come in. She had to wait for my contraction to break so I could get on the table, and then again for me to relax my legs so she could check me. She made an offhanded comment about how I was definitely in active labor, she could tell without inserting the speculum. Once she did, however, she looked at me and said "You are 10 cm and I can see hair - we need an ambulance!" and then ran out of the room.

Normally this is where I would panic, but I was so busy concentrating on the contractions that I couldn't worry about anything else. The doctor came back and apologized about running out of the room and explained that an ambulance would be coming right away to take me to the hospital. She brought back a nurse named Amy who was so amazing. She helped me breathe through the contractions and held my hands to help me focus.

All modesty flies out the window when you are having a baby - I was lying on the doctor's table with no bottoms on with 2 doctors and at least 3 nurses in the room and then came the 4 male EMTs who helped me get onto the gurney (while flashing them my giant ass) and wheeled me out of the office. Kevin rode in the front seat while a EMT, a doctor and the nurse Amy rode in the back with me. Amy held my hands and coached me with my breathing. The doctor asked the EMT "Have you ever delivered a baby en route to the hospital?" and when he answered that he had, the doctor replied, "Great, if she needs to push you come back here." Thanks a lot for instilling the confidence, dude.

We drove to the hospital with the lights and sirens on, while my mom came behind us and took my car. The driver asked "Are we taking her to L&D?" and the other EMT replied "No - right to the trauma bay, the team is waiting for us."

We made it right into the first room of the hospital ER and the L&D team was there. I moved off the gurney and onto the hospital bed I was sad that Amy the nurse left me because she had helped me SO much but the staff there was great - the room was PACKED with people but I didn't much care at the time. One nurse offered me some water and gave me an ice pack on my neck to cool me down - had I been able to, I would have hugged her. She held one leg and Kevin held the other and told me to push when I felt I needed to. Another nurse said my mom was there and was I intended for her to be in the room when I delivered and when I said yes, they brought her in. Someone else asked if I was planning on giving the baby the Hep B vaccine right away or if I wanted to wait until the dr visit (um, hello? I'm a little busy right now).

I pushed and pushed while the doctor, nurses, Kevin and my mom cheered me on - I didn't yell or swear or say "Get this thing out of me!" but I was feeling like I couldn't do that for much longer and I wasn't sure I was capable. I was having big doubts but I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want anyone to yell at me so I just kept up the pushing. Finally out came the head - this was so hard because the doctor then tells you to stop pushing or to give little pushes and it is hard to control at that point but I did my best and gave another push when I was told and finally the biggest relief - IT WAS OUT and the doctor said "It's a girl!!"

I was so surprised because I really was so sure she would be a boy. One of the first things I said was how I could get her the cute little pink penguin outfits I saw at Old Navy now. She was so beautiful and pink and amazing. We didn't have a name right away because Kevin and I hadn't agreed, but in the end I let Kevin have his name (if it had been a boy, I would have insisted on mine) - Charlotte. Charlotte Evelyn, which is for my grandmother. She was born at 3:18 pm after less than 40 minutes of pushing. 7 lbs 14 oz and 20.5 inches long.

All in all, the birth was the best possible outcome for me because it didn't give me any time to worry or get anxious about how things would play out - it was a "do or die" situation of sorts. Nothing felt like I expected it to feel. I found the repair work the doctor was doing to be worse than the delivery, perhaps due to the adrenaline rush. In a few hours I was on the phone with my best friend telling her I would do it again.

Charlotte is so amazing and I can't imagine how we lived without her - I am so thankful for having her in our life and I love her so much I don't know that I will ever be able to explain it. My darling girl <3

Sweet Hayden

This Sunday I was able to go to my home town to visit with some family who flew in from out of town - my cousin Lesley and her two kids, Harrison (4) and Hayden (2). They haven't been up to visit since Christmas, so it has been a while since we've had the opportunity to catch up and see how big the kids have grown.

Hayden is my goddaughter, and I often send her things - usually just a book and a little treat for whatever holiday is coming up - but she is at the age where she can start to associate those things with me, so Lesley has been showing her pictures of me and whenever I send something she tells her "Those are from Meagan" and Hayden walks around saying "From my Meagan" for a couple days, so I was definitely excited to see her.

She, on the other hand, was not so excited to see me. She is just not used to having such a large group around her so she was pretty leery at my grandmother's, even though she had done fine a few days earlier with just my grandmother there. Oh well. I brought presents to win her love - hey! Don't make that face at me. She is two and I only see her twice a year, I've got to do something...

I brought her a pretty dress and a Cinderella crown and wand and best of all, some bright pink nail polish for her toes. So after dinner she let me paint her toes and then she, Lesley and I went for a walk to the park around the corner. When we were there, we were telling her about the baby growing in my tummy and how next time she visited, the baby would be out and she could help me take care of it. She really liked that because she likes to help with the real babies at day care and lines up all her babies at home to feed them and rock them.

Best of all, she touched my tummy and sang the baby a song - "You are my sunshine." SO sweet! All in all, it was such a nice visit and I am looking forward to their visit at Christmastime with little no-name in my belly.

Enjoy it!

Oh no... not that!

The time has come... I have been dreading it and putting it off and making excuses, but despite my valiant efforts, this weekend I finally have to give in and just do it. I have to clean the closet in our spare bedroom.

Hopefully all goes well with the house situation and we will be able to move, but in the event that we stay here another year, we will need a place to store baby things. And if we move, we will need to have things packed. So this weekend, despite the blazing heat and stifling lack of air in our apartment, I am going to give it my best shot, the old college try, and start to get rid of my junk.

Kevin moved into this apartment a few months before I did, so most of my things were packed into storage bins and tucked away in closets, almost never to be revisited. A lot of it is my craft things, which I am reluctant to throw away because I have a tendancy to revisit projects and phases, but there is also things I have been hanging onto since high school (or longer) and it is just time. Time to get rid of the excess and start clean.

Wish me luck!!

Yay for ultrasounds!

Some of these pictures are a bit creepy, but gosh I love the little foot <3

Looking right at the face

Profile of the little wiggle worm - all it did the whole time was move and move.

Here it is, arching its neck back

Zombie baby!

This one is tougher to see - that little white triangle is

the nose (see the nostrils?) and upper lip

Wee little legs

Hurry Up and Wait

It seems like that is all I am doing these days - hurry up and wait. We had to hustle to find a house so we would be able to close by the time our lease is up. Well, we found the house and now we just have to wait until all the pieces are in place. I'm trying to get all my ducks in a row for the baby, but so much of it is up in the air depending on this thing or that.

So here I am, waiting to pack, to paint and nest, to prepare for the baby by getting a crib or picking out a daycare.

Lord, give me patience...

Half-way there

Today marks the day that we are half-way to the finish line – 20 weeks pregnant, 20 weeks to go! We’ve still got a LOT of preparing to do – pick out furniture, find a day care, move to a new place… But we also have a lot of things to look forward to – I am starting to feel the baby move more, soon Kevin will be able to feel it, we have an ultrasound next Wednesday and this time the baby will look like a baby rather than a kidney bean (at 6w1d). I am hoping that I will soon look pregnant, rather than like I’ve been hitting the donuts. The few maternity clothes I’ve got help the appearance of the bump for sure. I’m debating whether I should buy another BellyBand or finally cave and get a pair of maternity pants.

Here’s to another 20 weeks of a growing belly and new experiences!

Enjoy it!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cupcakes

Since I've been pregnant, I really have been slacking on the baking front, especially because the heat in our second floor apartment is stifling. I used to bake a lot - if I got a taste for something, I would make it for myself, save one or two pieces and then send the rest with Kevin to work. So this baking break I've been taking has been affecting more than just me, myself and I.

Kevin's been working the guys on his crew really hard to keep up the past couple weeks - demand is up and his shift is short people, so it's been a struggle, not to mention all the equipment that keeps breaking down and slowing things up. So today I offered to make something for him to bring as a 'thank you' to the people he works with, for working so hard and being supportive, since he is a newly appointed manager. I browsed through my starred recipes and found something perfect - chocolate-y, peanut butter-y, and individually portioned (since there is a guy on the crew with questionable personal hygiene aka "Hands in the Pants Guy"). I haven't been hanging on to this for very long, but boy I'm glad I didn't wait to make it any more!

Peanut Butter Cake

(recipe from Cooking With Joey)

**Made just under 3 doz cupcakes**

1 1/4 cups smooth peanut butter
3/4 cup butter, softened
2 cups brown sugar, packed
4 large eggs
2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups buttermilk

Heat oven to 325°.
Original recipe calls for a bundt pan, but I wanted to make cupcakes for the aforementioned reason.

In a large mixing bowl, cream peanut butter, butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time and beat well after each addition. Add vanilla.

In a smaller bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. I sifted them, but I don't think you need to. I also forgot the baking powder (did you know forgetfulness is a symptom of pregnancy?), and if I were to make it again, I would include it, but they don't seem any worse for the wear (excuse me while I like ganache off my fingers...).

Add 1/3 of the dry ingredients along with about 1/2 the buttermilk and slowly beat until well blended. Add another 1/3 and the rest of the buttermilk and repeat. Add the final installation of dry ingredients and beat until smooth.

Pour into the prepared baking pan and bake. Since I did cupcakes, I started at about 15 minutes and checked them, then put them in for a little longer. I ended up at about 22 mins but make sure you are watching them.
Cool in pan for 10 minutes then carefully remove from the pan and invert on a baking rack.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Ganache.

3/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup corn syrup
12 oz semisweet chocolate chips
pinch of salt
1/4 cup (or more) creamy peanut butter

In a saucepan, combine the cream and corn syrup. Bring to a simmer, add chocolate and salt, and remove from heat. Whisk until the chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth. Whisk in the peanut butter until well blended.

I made mine in my smallest saucepan and it was plenty big enough. It also meant that the ganache was a little deeper, so I just dipped the cupcakes right in - it made the frosting quick and painless. I packed up the extra ganache in a little Tupperware and sent it to work with Kevin, so they could warm it up and have a little extra if they wanted. The original recipe says to save it and use it as a topping for ice cream or pound cake, if you are looking for more uses.

Please ignore the wonky photography.

I never claimed to have any skills in that department.